Before I get too far into this Awesome Movie Review, I should warn you that the movie I’ll be awesomely reviewing contains graphic depictions of latex man ass. Lots of latex man ass. And it’s not the good kind of latex man ass, either. Actually, there really is no good kind of latex man ass. However, the latex man ass in Running on Karma is not nearly as gratuitous as most graphic depictions of latex man ass. One could argue that the latex man ass is essential to the plot. You see, the hero of Running on Karma is a character named Big, a name he earned by being wicked large. Big is played by Hong Kong superstar Andy Lau, who, despite being super awesome and all that, is not very big. In order to accurately depict the wicked largeness of his character, Andy Lau dons a latex muscle suit, which includes the aforementioned latex man ass.
Now, some of you might be saying, “But Shawn, what narrative element could possibly necessitate the repeated and graphic unveiling of Andy Lau’s latex man ass?” A valid query. In Running on Karma, Andy Lau plays a monk who, after accidentally killing an innocent sparrow, develops the ability to see karma. He can see into past lives and even catch glimpses of how karma will end the life of a living individual. Because of the intense emotional burden placed on him by such vision, Andy Lau forsakes his role as a monk, casts aside his monk robes (unveiling the latex man ass), and become a stripper. It is as a stripper that we first see Big and that we first see the latex man ass, both in a thong and without a thong.
When we first see Big, he is stripping, shaking his latex man ass for the enjoyment of many a sexy lady. Unfortunately for Big, one of the sexy ladies is a cop. Turns out Big is not only an ex-monk turned stripper gifted with the power of karmic vision, he’s also an illegal migrant ex-monk turned stripper gifted with the power of karmic vision. The cops raid the strip club and Big flees the scene, giving us our first glimpse of the latex man ass moving at high speeds.
While speeding naked through the streets, Big and the sexy cop lady chasing him run into (literally) another group of cops chasing an Indian contortionist murderer. (I should point out that this Indian is not a murderer of contortionists, but rather a murder who is also a contortionist himself.) During this collision, Big sees a vision of marauding Japanese soldiers, which he believes means that someone involved in the Indian contortionist murderer investigation is fated to die. It is this vision that starts Big on a journey toward self-discovery and high-flying ass-kicking.
When Big sees the vision of the Japanese soldiers, he is faced with a choice: to accept the karma or to do something about it. As an ex-monk, Big knows that karma is karma and it’s karma for a damn good reason. But at the same time, he doesn’t want the sexy cop lady to die because of the actions of murderous Japanese soldiers. Big decides to return to Hong Kong and help catch the Indian contortionist murders, as he feels this might save the life of the sexy cop lady. This plot line occupies roughly the first third of Running on Karma, when the movie is pretty much a straightforward Hong Kong action movie. Lots of martial arts actions, wire stunts and the like. However, this is just the first third of the movie, the other two thirds take entirely different approaches within entirely different genres.
When Big catches the Indian contortionist murderer, it does nothing to help the karma of the sexy cop lady. He decides that if he can protect the sexy cop lady from death, it would give her enough time to right her karmic wrongs. This is the second third of the movie, and it’s more like a romance than an action movie. And it’s a kinda messed up romance at that. This part of the movie is filled with rigged boxing matches, body building competitions, kosher monks and the sexy cop lady dressed as the Hong Kong interpretation of a punk rock raver. Oh, and there’s also a Hong Kong spiderman type dude. It’s an odd portion of the movie. But eventually the sexy cop lady decides that, if it is her fate to die, she wants to do it helping catch evildoers, so she goes into the mountains to catch a killer. Thus begins the third and penultimate act of Running on Karma, the revenge tragedy.
Naturally, the sexy cop lady doesn’t catch the killer. In fact, in a deliciously ironic twist, the killer catches her, bops her on the head with a bigass rock and then beheads her, also with a rock. This Shakespearean in magnitude turn of events does not please Big, who goes into the mountains to seek revenge. While in the mountains, Big rediscovers his inner karma, in the guise of a stick-fighting transient. Thanks to the teachings of the stick-fighting transient, Big learns to accept karma, sheds his stripper clothes (more latex man ass) and dons the robes of a monk. He also stays in the mountains for five years and loses a whole bunch of weight, thus making the final scene of Running on Karma thankfully free of latex man ass.
I feel that this Awesome Movie Review might not do Running on Karma justice. Yes, there is a lot of unrealistic latex man ass. Or at least I assume the latex man ass is unrealistic. I don’t claim to be an expert in man ass. But my gut feeling tells me that the latex man ass is not nearly as believable as it could be. And the plot jumps around a good deal. First Big is in Hong Kong, then he’s in China. One moment Big is nice to the sexy cop lady, then he’s ignoring her or telling her that she’s destined to die for sins she didn’t commit. Despite those flaws, Running on Karma is still a most excellent movie. Some might say the action sequences are a little phony, but I didn’t have a problem with them. I mean, how realistic can a man in a latex man ass suit wrapping up a Hong Kong spiderman inside a satellite dish possibly be? The action sequences might be over the top, but they’re still quite enjoyable. On my scale of one to five tiny heads of Sergei Eisenstein, I give Running on Karma four tiny heads of Sergei Eisenstein. And if it hadn’t been for all that latex man ass, it probably would have got five.
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