Comments on: Red Means Stop

By: Emaciated

Emaciated — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Whatever happened to the Tele-strator? Remember when John Madden could circle the sweat stains on a lineman’s uniform during the third quarter to emphasize just how fat the guy was?

The line-of-scrimmage line (which is normally blue) is useful on screen passes. Without it, a one-yard loss looks pretty much the same as an eight-yard gain.

By: shawn

shawn — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I believe sweat was used to indicate the effort the lineman had been exerting during the game. When Madden circled a lineman’s cankle, it was to show how the ridiculous size of that player. (For the less football enlightened idiots out there, a cankle is what Madden called it when a player’s calf was so large that it didn’t even appear that he had an ankle.) As for screen passes, even when the play is ongoing, there’s still going to be a bunch of players localized at or near the line of scrimmage. And, on a completely unrelated topic, what’s the deal with that new Dr. Pepper commercial where it talks about the 23 flavours contained within one single can of Dr. Pepper? Do the advert people really think that 23 rhymes with Japanese? That’s the kind of shoddy lyricism that will make Lord Alfred Tennyson rise from his grave and start eating people’s brains. The Dr. Pepper people should fear the wrath of zombie Lord Alfred Tennyson.

By: Emaciated

Emaciated — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I don’t even quite understand what they mean by “23 flavors”. Baskin Robbins has 32 flavors, and I understand what they mean by that. I can accept a description of a glass of wine as containing a depth of several flavors, but if someone tried to list 23 flavors to describe one sip, I’d say they were nuts. Is Dr. Pepper claiming to have a more complex taste than good wine? Do they just mean that Dr. Pepper has 23 ingredients? Do they mean it has 23 “natural and artificial flavors” in the ingredients? Is this actually different from other cola brands? Look, Dr. Pepper has 1 flavor. It tastes like Dr. Pepper.
As far as I know, that taste is not similar to cum, which would be the only I can think of to play “Turning Japanese” in the commercial.

By: shawn

shawn — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

“As far as I know, that taste is not similar to cum…” As far as you know? I think you’re pulling that out of your ass. Despite your chemistry expertise, I don’t believe you have any experience that could ever give you the authority to accurately compare the taste of Dr. Pepper and semen. And if it weren’t for its Latin usage, I think I would add ‘cum’ to the Love Hewitt Word Filter. These comments are not the Penthouse Forum.

By: John

John — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

and Dr. Pepper certainly doesn’t smell like… anything other than Dr. Pepper.

Perhaps they mean there are 23 chemicals in Dr. Pepper that contribute to the flavor?

By: shawn

shawn — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

According the the adverts, Dr. Pepper is a combination of 23 flavours. I expect this to mean natural flavours, and not individual chemicals. According to the Dr. Pepper FAQ, the ingredients to Dr. Pepper are “proprietary information.” However, Dr. Pepper does not contain prune juice and it’s kosher, meaning it doesn’t contain bacon, shrimp or a combination of meat and dairy flavours.