Awesome Movie Reviews
Awesome Movie Review: Up in the Air
I’m going to make this brief. Up in the Air seems to be getting a lot of good press and that bothers me. It bothers me because I believe the message of the film is fundamentally distasteful. Now I enjoy a good George Clooney film as much as the next guy (I especially like it [...]
Awesome Movie Review: The Ex
First, an explanation. I did not want to rent The Ex. I rented it due to circumstances beyond my control.
I rent movies from Blockbuster. I know everyone is canceling their Blockbuster online memberships, but I’m sticking with them until they stop allowing me to exchange movies. And don’t try to sing the praises of Netflix and their online movie watching. That only works for people who aren’t pretentious assholes. It’s not an option for me.
Awesome Movie Review: Pirates of the Carribbean: At World’s End
I would like to approach this Awesome Movie Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, if I may, via scenes from each of the Clerks movies. In Clerks 2, Randall describes the Lord of the Rings movies as three movies of people walking. Replace walking with sailing and you’ve pretty much got At World’s End
Awesome Movie Review: Black Snake Moan
I like porn. Some might say I love porn. Others might say I am addicted to porn. And some learnéd individuals might even say that my porn addiction is all-consuming and that I need a hobby or to learn how to interact socially with other human beings. In short, I am a fan of the naked ladies.
My dream in life is to lock Jennifer Love Hewitt in a cage in my basement. My favourite episode of Buffy is “Consequences,” where Angel chains Faith to a wall in his basement. In short, being that I possess none of the qualities that ladies find attractive, my ideal sexy lady is one who cannot run away.
Awesome Movie Review: Bottom of the Ninth
I am not a fan of anti-piracy ads on DVDs. Comparing the downloading of Delta Farce to ransacking the Kremlin is overwrought and misleading. Even though I can’t stand this type of scaremongering, I’ll admit that the maker of Bottom of the Ninth do a fairly decent job of it. Instead of accusing downloaders of committing heinous crimes, they present a title card that basically says, “This documentary was produced and financed independently. DVD revenue is a major source of our income. Please don’t steal from us.” That I can respect. Mild begging is far more effective than sensational accusations. In fact, the anti-piracy message in Bottom of the Ninth was so impressive, I have decided to give up my dream of become the world’s foremost purveyor of pirated short documentary DVDs.
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