i am the second coming of sergei eisenstein
In Praise of "Watch Instantly"
Much has been said and written about Netflix’s “Watch Now” or “Watch Instantly” feature. Most things I’ve read but am too lazy to look up again and link to seem to agree that the selection could use some improvement. I do know that some dude from Slate wrote:
I found the offerings impressively bad, as though some schlock curator from an Ivy League cinema studies department was called upon to select the dreckiest soft-porn screwball comedies ever made
I’ve never studied film at an Ivy League school, but I did take film classes at a school just up the road from one, and I take offense at the suggestion that soft-porn screwball comedies are somehow an anathema to the cinema. A world without Jewel Shepard is a world I don’t want to be a part of.
No, It Isn’t
So I’m perusing the latest online edition of my favourite publication of the Archaeological Institute of America, Archaeology, when I came across an article entitled, Is Apocalypto Pornography?”. Although I had originally intended to catch up on some Tut Talk (he is my favourite honky, after all), the allure of pornography was too great to pass up.
The basic premise of the article is that although Apocalypto is a well-shot, action packed film, director Melvin Gibson presents a one-sided view of the most violent and sensational aspects of what was actually a multifaceted and dynamic society. The author also uses the word ‘hellavuh’.
I Am Not A Nerd
But if I were, I’d be totally pissed off about the casting of the Dragonlance movie. Kiefer Sutherland as Raistlin? That’s horseshit. Kiefer is way too old to play Raistlin. Yes, I know it’s an animated feature, so only the voice matters, but Kiefer Sutherland’s vocal stylings are ill-suited for playing the soft-spoken mage. The Kiefer Sutherland school of acting consists of a constant and predictable alternation of whispering and shouting. He’ll whisper something like, “Thousands of lives are at stake. I need you to tell me where the curly fries are.” Then he’ll pause for a moment, then yell, “WHERE ARE THE CURLY FRIES!!” Then he goes back to whispering, then yelling, then whispering, etc. While the Kiefer Sutherland school of acting has been quite successful in 24, it won’t work for Raistlin.
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