October 2006
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Your Guide to the Ultimate TRP Costume
So Halloween is right around the corner and I’m sure most of you idiots are scrambling for a costume. You’re probably thinking, “Oh, I’ll just go to Party City and pick up a cheap Fatty Arbuckle costume.” But that’s not going to work. There’s no way Party City will have any Fatty Arbuckle costumes left this close to Halloween. But you can still go to any local supermarket and get yourself a brown paper bag, a black magic marker and make yourself your own Thomas Pynchon costume. Just cut some holes for eyes, draw the question mark as shown in the picture and–Voila!–your the TRP. Or, I should say, you’ll look like Thomas Pynchon, but a Thomas Pynchon costume is about so much more than a paper bag over your head.
Spam Update
I apologise for the not-so-unusual lack of postings recently. My worthless cable company (Cox) recently jacked up their prices and, as a reward for finding a way to take even more of my precious monies, immediately stopped providing reliable Internet service. Normally my Internet is slow because I use an extreme amount of bandwidth downloading hour after hour of hardcore German pornography, but now it’s slow because my connection keeps crapping out and I have to keep resetting my router. Cox is lucky I am a social coward who fears almost all verbal contact with my fellow man, or they would be getting quite the angry support call right now.
Let The Countdown Begin
November 19th, idiots, that’s the day video gaming as we know it will be forever changed. November 19th is the day when The King, of Burger King fame, will make his gaming debut, on both the Xbox and the Xbox, Again?. I can’t wait. I want to be the first person on my block to command the Subservient Chicken and bump Brooke Burke into submission. Once I get a few more rolls of duct tape, I’m going to try to finish my time machine, so I can go into the future and get the games before everyone else. For those of you too lazy or illiterate to read the linked article, here are the descriptions of the three games, with the appropriate emphasis added:
“Pocketbike Racer” – In the wild world of Pocketbike racing, players race the King and his miniature motorbike crew through five fun, yet challenging speedways.
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