Awesome Movie Review: The Ex
By shawn on September 18, 2007
First, an explanation. I did not want to rent The Ex. I rented it due to circumstances beyond my control.
I rent movies from Blockbuster. I know everyone is canceling their Blockbuster online memberships, but I’m sticking with them until they stop allowing me to exchange movies. And don’t try to sing the praises of Netflix and their online movie watching. That only works for people who aren’t pretentious assholes. It’s not an option for me.
Posted in Awesome Movie Reviews | Leave a response
BioSchlock
By shawn on August 18, 2007
I apologise for the title of this post. It sounds like something out of Mad Magazine. Actually, it’s not even that good. It’s like something out of Cracked, the magazine, not the website. The Cracked website titles all their posts in the “The n Most x y, where n is a number, x is an adjective, and y is an element of pop culture that is meant to seem ironic. But I digress.
Posted in Xbox, Again? | Leave a response
A One-Act Play In Which I Attempt To Console Two Sobbing Children
By shawn on August 16, 2007
ME: Hey kid, why are you crying?
Sobbing Child 1: I want my mommy!
Sobbing Child 2: I want to go home! I don’t like it here!
ME: It’s school, no one likes it here.
SC1: I want my mommy!
SC2: I need to go to the nurse!
ME: Are you sick?
SC2: I want to call my mommy so she can take me home.
SC1: I wanna go home!
ME: Listen, kids, they’re not going to let you go home unless you’re sick. If they let every kid just go home, there wouldn’t be anybody left in school. Then they’d have to close the school down, I’d be out of a job, I wouldn’t have any money for food, and I’d die alone in the streets. You don’t want me to die, do you?
SC2: I don’t like it here!
SC1: Yeah, it’s haunted here!
Posted in i am the second coming of lord byron | 4 Responses
Kicking A Swede When He’s Down
By shawn on July 30, 2007
Ingmar Bergman is dead. And even though I was a Cinema Studies minor at university, I never much understood all the Ingmar love. Woody Allen said Ingmar was, “probably the greatest film artist, all things considered, since the invention of the motion picture camera.” Well, if you ignore Griffith, Lang, Murnau, Ford, Welles, Kubrick, Kurosawa, Leone, Peckinpah, Godard, Eisenstein, Bresson, and that Hitchcock fellow, then Woody might have a point. As far as I’m concerned, however, Bergman is the Kafka of the cinema.
Posted in remarkably astute observations of the world around me | Leave a response
Awesome Movie Review: Pirates of the Carribbean: At World’s End
By shawn on July 17, 2007
I would like to approach this Awesome Movie Review of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, if I may, via scenes from each of the Clerks movies. In Clerks 2, Randall describes the Lord of the Rings movies as three movies of people walking. Replace walking with sailing and you’ve pretty much got At World’s End
Posted in Awesome Movie Reviews | 2 Responses
Recent Comments