I am the man who will fight for your honour

I am not a fan of anti-piracy ads on DVDs. Comparing the downloading of Delta Farce to ransacking the Kremlin is overwrought and misleading. Even though I can’t stand this type of scaremongering, I’ll admit that the maker of Bottom of the Ninth do a fairly decent job of it. Instead of accusing downloaders of committing heinous crimes, they present a title card that basically says, “This documentary was produced and financed independently. DVD revenue is a major source of our income. Please don’t steal from us.” That I can respect. Mild begging is far more effective than sensational accusations. In fact, the anti-piracy message in Bottom of the Ninth was so impressive, I have decided to give up my dream of become the world’s foremost purveyor of pirated short documentary DVDs.

Saw the movie 300 in IMAX the other day. The last movie I saw in IMAX was Beavers at the Maryland Science Center. I have to say that IMAX 300 wasn’t nearly as impressive as those giant beavers. Back when Beavers came out, suburban theaters were tiny. An IMAX theater was the only place, other than an old movie palace in a big city, where one could see a movie on a truly big screen. Nowadays, theaters and screens are bigger and the sound is always way too fucking loud. So the tall IMAX screen and 12,000 watts of bass really isn’t all that impressive anymore. It’s a good thing I paid for the movie and popcorn with some gift cards, otherwise I would have felt ripped off.

But I’m not going to judge 300 based on the fading relevance of a once-great theater experience. Instead, I’ll judge the film based on its highly unoriginal qualities.